Sue Scheff - Parenting, Self Control and Eating Habits

Source: Connect with Kids

“Obviously, we don’t want the child to feel persecuted. And when dad is sitting there drinking a beer and eating pizza, and they can’t have any, there’s going to be some definite feelings of jealousy.”

– Lonny Horowitz, M.D., Obesity Specialist

Ali Corwin’s mom Beth wants her to eat right and exercise. Beth says, “I’ve tried nagging. It doesn’t work.”

Experts say getting one child to exercise and eat healthier food feels like punishment unless everyone else in the family does the same thing.

12-year-old Ali says, “Like I might feel bad if my sister and brother got to eat like ice cream with cookies or whatever.”

Dr. Lonny Horowitz, an obesity specialist in metro-Atlanta says, “Obviously, we don’t want the child to feel persecuted. And when dad is sitting there drinking a beer and eating pizza, and they can’t have any, there’s going to be some definite feelings of jealousy.”

So every day, Beth Corwin tries to be a role model. She says, “My kids know that I get up every morning at 5:00 so that I can run by 5:30, and be back to wake them up from school.”

Dr. Horowitz says, “If mom and dad aren’t doing any physical activity, it’s really hard to turn to your children and say, ‘Hey listen, I want you to go and do a sport, or go out and do this or that.’”

Another mistake parents make is forbidding kids from having any of their favorite foods. Dr. Horowitz says, “I’ve had patients whose parents lock the refrigerator doors so that the kid couldn’t have access to food. I think that’s almost like---I don’t want to say beating the kid, but it’s pretty close to being child abuse.”

Beth says, “I just find that the more restrictive you are, the more they are going to rebel.” So Beth does have treats----but she also has plenty of healthy foods. Dr. Horowitz says, “If you do provide enough of the right foods, then a little snack or a couple of cookies is not going to be the cause of major obesity.”

And while Beth tries to teach good habits---ultimately she lets Ali choose what to eat. She says, “I could have results from restricting her, because I’m her parent, but I don’t know that in the long term that it will really become a way of life for her.”

Tips for Parents
Should parents put their slightly overweight teens on a diet? Could even suggesting a diet result in an obsession with weight and lead to an eating disorder? These are tough questions to answer, but some studies suggest that dieting may do more harm than good.

A national survey of more than 11,000 high school students, conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, revealed the following statistics about teens and diets:

More than one-third of girls considered themselves “overweight,” compared with less than 15 percent of boys.
More than 43 percent of girls reported they were on a diet, and a quarter of these dieters didn’t even think they were overweight.
The most common dieting methods teens tried were skipping meals, taking diet pills and inducing vomiting after eating.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warns that fad dieting can keep teens from getting the calories and nutrients they need in order to foster healthy growth. Stringent dieting may cause girls to stop menstruating and will prevent boys from developing muscles. And some diets can even be dangerous for teens. The Nutrition Society of Malaysia lists the following “dieting dangers”:

Following a crash diet – A crash diet includes cutting down food intake drastically. A teen who uses this dieting method will lose out on the nutrients that his or her body needs.
Slimming foods and beverages – Eating and drinking foods and beverages in place of regular meals will prevent a teen from taking in the nutrients of various food groups.
Using fat blockers – Fat blockers supposedly prevent a person’s body from absorbing fat from the foods he or she eats.
Yo-yo dieting – This type of diet includes alternately starving and/or binging. It tends to make a teen overeat because he or she is too hungry after starving.
Following a very low-calorie diet (VLCD) – This type of diet should only be used if recommended by a physician because it is very extreme and provides a teen with fewer calories than he or she usually needs each day.
If you and your teen decide that weight loss is necessary, the FDA suggests making a few simple changes in your child’s eating habits to “emphasize healthy foods and exercise – good advice even if you don’t need to lose weight:”

Refer to the USDA’s Food Pyramid. Guidelines suggest eating six to 11 servings a day of grains (bread, cereal, rice and pasta).
Eat three to five servings of vegetables daily.
Eat two to four servings of fruit.
Each day, eat two to three servings of dairy (milk, cheese and yogurt) and protein-rich foods (meat, eggs, poultry, fish, dry beans and nuts).
Also, limit the amount of high-fat foods that your child eats. Encourage your child to eat a variety of foods so that he or she doesn’t get bored.
Keep your child’s mealtime portion sizes reasonable.
Make sure your child gets regular exercise (three times a week).
One of the greatest struggles for parents is trying to help their children eat healthy foods. Parents play a big role in shaping children's eating habits. For instance, when parents eat a variety of foods that are low in fat and sugar and high in fiber, children learn to like these foods as well. Don’t give up if your child does not like a new food right away. It may take a little while. With many parents working outside the home, childcare providers also help shape children's eating and snacking habits. Make sure your childcare provider offers well-balanced meals and snacks, as well as plenty of active play time. If your child is in school, find out more about the school's breakfast and lunch programs and ask to have input into menu choices, or help your child pack a lunch that includes a variety of foods. According to experts at the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK), there are options available for parents to help their children eat better:

Give your child a snack or two in addition to his or her three daily meals.
Offer your child a wide variety of foods, such as grains, vegetables and fruits, low-fat dairy products, and lean meat or beans.
Serve snacks like dried fruit, low-fat yogurt and air-popped popcorn.
Let your child decide whether and how much to eat. Keep serving new foods even if your child does not eat them at first.
Cook with less fat – bake, roast or poach foods instead of frying.
Limit the amount of added sugar in your child's diet. Choose cereals with low or no added sugar. Serve water or low-fat milk more often than sugar-sweetened sodas and fruit-flavored drinks.
Choose and prepare foods with less salt. Keep the saltshaker off the table. Have fruits and vegetables on hand for snacks instead of salty snack foods.
Involve your child in planning and preparing meals. Children may be more willing to eat the dishes they help prepare.
Have family meals together and serve everyone the same thing.
Do not be too strict. In small amounts, sweets or food from fast-food restaurants still can have a place in a healthy diet.
Make sure your child eats breakfast. Breakfast provides children with the energy they need to listen and learn in school
Experts at the NIDDK recommend the following selection for healthy snack choices:

Dried fruit and nut mix
Fresh, frozen or canned vegetables or fruit served plain or with low-fat yogurt
Rice cakes, whole grain crackers or whole grain bread served with low-fat cheese, fruit spread, peanut butter, almond butter or soy nut butter
Pretzels or air-popped popcorn sprinkled with salt-free seasoning mix
Homemade fruit smoothie made with low-fat milk or yogurt and frozen or fresh fruit
Dry cereals served plain or with low-fat or non-fat milk
Keep in mind that children of preschool age and younger can easily choke on foods that are hard to chew, small and round, or sticky, such as hard vegetables, whole grapes, hard chunks of cheese, raisins, nuts and seeds, and popcorn. Carefully select snacks for children in this age group.

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
U.S. Food and Drug Administration
Nutrition Society of Malaysia
National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases
Food and Nutrition Information Center
National Institutes of Health
Child Care Aware

Sue Scheff - Parent Help

Are you at your wit’s end?

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
Is your teen verbally abusive?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Does he/she steal?
Is your teen sexually active?
Teen pregnancy?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Mood Swings? Anxiety?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Juvenile Delinquent?
Conduct Disorder?
Bipolar?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?

Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?


Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.



Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:
· Helping Teens - not Harming them
· Building them up - not Breaking them down
· Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
· Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
· Protect Children - not Punish them

Next Generation Parenting - Innovative Parenting for the New Generation

Wow - I recently was introduced to this fantastic up-to-date information for parents on parenting the next generation.

From new parenting techniques, ideas, and how to be a smart parent today NexGen Parenting has it all! They also have a great selection of books and blogs to learn from.

Here is a brief example of their vast information:

Xtreme Parenting

The slacker image that Generation X earned in the early 90s is gone. No longer seen as lazy and directionless, the thirty- and forty-somethings of today are regarded as driven go-getters. Extreme and maniacally focused on everything they do from sports (X games), to work (Silicon Valley pioneers staying up all night to launch new tech products), to parenting. That’s right; GenX is turning out to be some of the most conservative, protective, proactive parents in history. They enact legislation for smaller class sizes, volunteer at school, leave their fast-paced jobs to stay home with their children, and homeschool their kids in record numbers.
In a modern twist, Gen X parents use technology to ensure the safety of their young. Baby monitors with video cameras or alarms that go off when infants stop breathing are immensely popular. Nannycams and Webcams are used to keep an eye on kids in daycare. Parents today purchase swings that play music, voice-activated bouncy seats with bubbling brook sounds, and software to teach phonics to preschoolers. While the last generation of kids begged to carry cell phones and pagers to be cool, Gen X parents insist that their children stay wired and reachable for peace of mind.

Learn more at http://www.nextgenparenting.com/.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Drug Free America

Parenting today has become more challenging than ever. Social Networking is expanding a new area of concern for parents - and today more than ever, parents need to be informed and keep updated about substance abuse, teen drug use, huffing, drinking, inhalant use and other harmful habits. Peer pressure, the need to fit in - combined with kids suffering with low self esteem can lead to negative behavior.

Stay informed - visit http://www.drugfree.org/ to keep yourself educated.

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America is a nonprofit organization that unites parents, renowned scientists and communications professionals to help families raise healthy children. Best known for its research-based national public education programs, the Partnership motivates and equips parents to prevent their children from using drugs and alcohol, and to find help and treatment for family and friends in trouble. The centerpiece of this effort is an online resource center at drugfree.org, featuring interactive tools that translate the latest science and research on teen behavior, addiction and treatment into easy to understand tips and tools. Research conducted by AP and MTV recently showed that kids see their parents as heroes— at drugfree.org, parents can connect with each other, tap into expert advice for children of all ages, and find the support they want and need in their role as hero to their kids. The Partnership depends on donations from individuals, corporations, foundations and other contributors. The Partnership thanks SAG/AFTRA, the advertising industry and our media partners for their ongoing generosity.