Sue Scheff: Teen Depression

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

– Amy, 16 years old

New research from Columbia University finds that nearly 50 percent of teens suffer from some form of depression, anxiety, or a number of other psychiatric disorders.

“A lot of people I know get depressed all the time about lots of stuff,” says 15-year-old Meagan.

“It’s like everything’s all on your shoulders and you have to take everything at once,” says Meredith, 14.

Sixteen-year-old Amy agrees, “Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth grade year and I was devastated, worse than my heart could ever imagine,” says 18-year-old Brittany, “and it hurts a lot, and I still hurt to this day and I’m a senior in H.S.”

The symptoms vary: some kids may be lethargic and withdrawn; others may show agitation and frustration, even aggression. Often, there is a drop in grades.

And sometimes these symptoms can cause parents to punish the child, instead of providing treatment.

“Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate,” says psychologist Sunaina Jain, Ph.D., “it’s important to see them as communications from the child.”

Experts say lots of kids experience depression or anxiety, often mild and temporary, but not always. And that’s why parents need to constantly check their child’s emotional pulse.

“You know it doesn’t take hours and hours. Even a few minutes of checking in with each other every day is a great way of saying you know I’m here, I’m interested in you,” says Jain.

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.
Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.
Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

Possible Symptoms:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While this behavior may not appear to be depression, in fact it may suggest that your teen is not concerned about his or her own safety.
Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.

Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic; jumping from heights; and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and lack of interest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.

Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Columbia University
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Sue Scheff - Troubled Teens and Parenting

Are you a parent dealing with a defiant, belligerent at risk teenager and you are at your wit’s end - It may be time to think about intervention. It is out of love that we seek to give our teens a second opportunity in life. If it is obvious they are escalating in a downward path, as a parent, it is our responsibility to find help. Whether it is seeking local therapy or support groups, or taking the major step of residential boarding schools - be a proactive parent.

If you are debating residential therapy for your teen, learn more about this extremely daunting and confusing industry.

Yes, you need to get help - but educate yourself first.

Learn more about Wit’s End at http://www.witsendbook.com/ and author Sue Scheff at http://www.suescheff.com/ -the response has been overwhelming!

If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit’s End and learn more!

For a quick read, check out http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ - the foundation of Wit’s End!

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Hate Websites

As someone that is familiar with hate websites/sites since I was a victim of them, they are nothing short of malicious attacks intended to hurt others. I always go back to my favorite Blog about these many types of people who seemingly take pride in harming others, The Top Ten Blogger Personas - The Mobosphere Unveiled by John Dozier. My next book, due out in fall 2009, will cover this subject in detail. Whether you are a business owner, husband, wife, teacher, professional - you need to be aware of your online presence - Internet Gossip vs Internet Fact - how do you know?

Connect with Kids offers some valuable tips for parents to help keep their kids safe in space. Unfortunately trying to keep up with the Internet can be difficult, however we need to communicate with our kids about ugliness that can lurk online.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Hate, unfortunately – it’s a virus. There’s been racism, anti-Semitism. There’s been discrimination against people throughout the ages. The Internet just provides an instant tool and access to it.”
– Deborah Lauter, Anti-Defamation League

By some estimates, 70 million kids are logging onto the Internet every day, and many are viewing sites that are increasingly disturbing.

Jesse Granger, 15, says, “I’ve come across hate websites. There was one about the Ku Klux Klan, and it had a lot of pictures of recent parades and marches.”

Sixteen-year-old Quincy Kelly saw a web site that “was talking about how slaves should be happy that they got brought over to America from Africa.”

Deborah Lauter of the Anti-Defamation League has been monitoring these sites for years. “Hate, unfortunately – it’s a virus,” she says. “There’s been racism, anti-Semitism. There’s been discrimination against people throughout the ages. The Internet just provides an instant tool and access to it.”

It’s also a sophisticated tool, especially in terms of attracting young web surfers.

Lauter says, “Some of the [hate] websites actually have games for children. The websites are attractive visually. There are puzzles, word games – it’s pretty sick when you look at them.”
And kids don’t even have to be looking for them to inadvertently access them.

“A perfect example would be a student doing Internet research and they plug in something as simple as ‘Martin Luther King,’ which is a very typical one. And some of these racist websites will be accessed and a kid could go on and start researching and think what’s there is fact,” says Lauter.

That’s where parents come in, she says, to make sure their kids are aware.

“[Children] need to understand to look at things critically,” says Lauter. “They need to understand that not everything on the Internet or everything they read is the truth.” And as kids become more sophisticated and Internet savvy, they will learn to weed out fiction from fact.
Matthew Burnett, 14, agrees. “If you use your common sense you can see through most of it,” he says.

And 15-year-olds Kelly Raines and Rebecca Turner say, “I think that if people are going to put that on, they’re going to put that on. And it’s just a matter of whether you take it, or like, just be like, ‘that’s stupid.’ I’m not going to worry about that.”

Tips for Parents

The Internet has opened the door to a wealth of information at our fingertips. But it has also brought instant accessibility to illegal drugs, pornography, hate websites and more. It’s important to set guidelines regarding your child’s Internet usage. Consider these important steps from the University of Oklahoma police department:

Learn about the Internet – If you are just starting out, see what information and classes are offered by your local library, community center, schools or newspaper.

Get Involved – Spend time online with your child — at home, at the library or at a computer center in your community. Your involvement in your child’s life includes his/her online life. Your participation and guidance is important to help ensure your child’s Internet safety.

Stay Informed – Learn about the latest parental control tools that can help you keep your child safe online. Stay abreast of what’s in the news about kids and web sites.

Become an Advocate for Kids – If you see online material or practices you do not like, contact your Internet Service Provider (the company that provides you with a connection to the Internet) or the company that created the material. Take advantage of this unique opportunity to help this growing medium develop in positive ways for kids.

According to SafeKids.com, there are steps you can take to help prevent your child from seeing inappropriate content on the Internet. Consider the following suggestions:

In an online public area such as a chat room or bulletin board, never give out identifying information, including name, home address, school name or telephone number.

In an email, do not give out identifying information unless you are certain you are giving it to someone both you and your child know and trust. Think carefully before revealing any personal information such as age, marital status or financial information. Consider using a pseudonym or unlisting your child’s name if your service allows it.

Get to know the sites and services your child uses. If you don’t know how to log on, have your child show you. Find out what types of information the services and websites offer, how trustworthy the information is and if parents can block objectionable material.

Never allow a child to arrange a face-to-face meeting with another computer user without parental permission.

Never respond to messages or bulletin board items that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, threatening or make you feel uncomfortable. Encourage your children to tell you if they encounter such messages. If you or your child receives a message that is harassing or threatening, forward a copy of the message to your service provider and ask for their assistance.
Remember that people online may not be who they seem. Because you can’t see or even hear people over the Internet, it is easy for them to misrepresent themselves. For example, someone who says he/she is an expert in a certain field may actually be a biased individual with an agenda or someone with harmful intentions.

Not everything you read online is true. Be wary of any offers that require you to come to a meeting or have someone visit your house. Also, research several different sources of information before referring to something you read on the Internet as “fact.”

Set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use. Discuss these rules and post them near the computer as a reminder. Remember to monitor your kids’ compliance with these rules, especially when it comes to the amount of time your children spend on the computer. A child’s or teenager’s excessive use of online services or bulletin boards, especially late at night, may indicate a potential problem. Remember that personal computers and online services should not be used as electronic babysitters.

Make computers a family activity. Consider keeping the computer in a family room rather than the child’s bedroom. Get to know your children’s “online friends” just as you do their other friends.

References
Federal Bureau of Investigation
National Center for Health Statistics
SafeKids.com
Smart Parent
The Police Notebook
The University of Illinois

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drinking

Are you concerned about your teen or tween drinking? Do you smell alcohol on their breathe? Maybe they experimented for the first time - maybe they will get really sick and promise never again. Or maybe they really enjoyed it!

Parents need to step up and educate their pre-teens and teens of the dangers of alcoholism, especially if there is a family member that suffers from this. Many believe this is a genetic disease, but I encourage all parents to whether this runs in the family or not, to be aware of this peer pressure. Much of this substance abuse can be started by peer pressure - a desire to fit in. To be cool. Well, be a cool parent and learn about this and talk to your kids about it before it becomes a problem.

Source: We Don’t Serve Teens

Teens Don’t Just Drink. They Drink to Excess.

More than 10 percent of eighth graders, 22 percent of sophomores, and 26 percent of seniors report recent binge drinking (5+ drinks on the same occasion).
Statistics show that the majority of current teen drinkers got drunk in the previous month. That includes 54 percent of the high school sophomores who drink and 65 percent of the high school seniors who drink.

Reducing underage drinking can reduce drinking-related harm.

Brain Development and Alcohol Abuse

Research indicates that the human brain continues to develop into a person’s early 20’s, and that exposure of the developing brain to alcohol may have long-lasting effects on intellectual capabilities and may increase the likelihood of alcohol addiction.

The age when drinking starts affects future drinking problems. For each year that the start of drinking is delayed, the risk of later alcohol dependence is reduced by 14 percent.

Drinking and Driving

Car crashes are the leading cause of death among people ages 15 to 20. About 1,900 people under 21 die every year from car crashes involving underage drinking.

Young people are more susceptible to alcohol-induced impairment of their driving skills. Drinking drivers aged 16 to 20 are twice as likely to be involved in a fatal crash as drinking drivers who are 21 or older.

Suicide

Alcohol use interacts with conditions like depression and stress, and contributes to an estimated 300 teen suicides a year.

High school students who drink are twice as likely to have seriously considered attempting suicide, as compared to nondrinkers. High school students who binge drink are four times as likely to have attempted suicide, as compared to nondrinkers.

Sexual Behavior

Current teen drinkers are more than twice as likely to have had sexual intercourse within the past three months than teens who don’t drink.

Higher drinking levels increase the likelihood of sexual activity.

Adolescents who drink are more likely to engage in risky sexual activities, like having sex with someone they don’t know or failing to use birth control.

Other Risks

Teens who drink alcohol are more likely than nondrinkers to smoke marijuana, use inhalants, or carry a weapon.

Binge drinking substantially increases the likelihood of these activities.

Academic Performance

A government study published in 2007 shows a relationship between binge drinking and grades. Approximately two-thirds of students with “mostly A’s” are non-drinkers, while nearly half of the students with “mostly D’s and F’s” report binge drinking. It is not clear, however, whether academic failure leads to drinking, or vice versa.

For further information on the risks of adolescent alcohol use, visit the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Don’t serve alcohol to teens.

It’s unsafe. It’s illegal. It’s irresponsible.

Sue Scheff - Parenting Blogs

O-kay, I am in Florida and have a soft spot for oranges and tangerines, but when I discovered a new Parenting Website that promotes today’s teen issues and parents concerns, I had to share it with you. Tangerine Times, created by Myrna Lantzsch, offers a variety of Parenting Tips, Articles, Blogs and more. Her motto: The Sweet and Sour Life with Teens.

Recently Myrna wrote about Teens and Texting while Driving - and this is huge concern for many of us. We are hearing more and more how car accidents due to cell phone use are increasing, and we need to educate our teens of the dangers of using their phones while driving.

Here is her follow up article:

In an effort to provide additional information and updates on the subject of “Texting While Driving” post - I discovered this story on Salon.com.

In the article, they discuss other technologies to aide with the “disabling” of a cell phone for texting purposes. Both of the companies discussed, (WQN, Inc. and Aegis Mobility) both utilize the car’s Global Positioning System to disable the cell phone.

I still think the best approach is to turn off texting at certain times (especially when the teenager is just beginning to drive) and/or have them leave the phone at home. I know this is unheard of anymore, no one thinks they can do without a cell phone around. But, I’m beginning to think that the temptation to text or use the phone can be very tempting. And, it is even more of a distraction than loud music or maybe, even, another teen in the car.

I’m still researching this subject and will continue to supply updates. As usual, I am particularly interested in hearing from you readers…what do you think? What have you tried?

Sue Scheff: ADHD Banishing Bad Moods - ADHD behavior advice: Self-calming strategies children can use to put “mood monsters” in their place.

Source: ADDitude Magazine

John’s mom came to his session in tears. “What can I do about the horrible mood that John is in every day after school?” Children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often experience emotions more intensely than their peers, and can become overwhelmed by sadness or worry. Depression and anxiety, which are primarily disorders of mood regulation, commonly coexist with the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

Some children need medical intervention to combat depression or anxiety, so it’s important to consult with your child’s doctor. But most children can be taught to regulate their bad moods and ADHD behavior problems with some simple cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques. CBT is a form of therapy that teaches people how to control their moods or behavior by changing their thought patterns. Here are some of the methods I taught John and his parents to help him feel in charge of, rather than controlled by, his “mood monsters”.
Make the moods visible.

Children often experience anxiety as a sense of dread. Maybe your child is terribly afraid of going to her room alone. When you ask why, she answers, “I don’t know.” Ask your child to draw a picture of what her bad feelings look like, and give a form to her anxiety. Having an image of the “monster” makes it easier to fight it off.

Give feelings a name.

Labeling depression, anxiety, or other feelings can make them easier to manage, too. Practice identifying feelings and facial expressions. (Try the “How Are You Feeling Today?” poster at childtherapytoys.com.) Take turns with your child, pointing to faces that look “Mad,” “Excited,” “Sad,” or “Worried,” and describing a time when each of you experienced such a feeling. This exercise reminds kids that grown-ups have different types of feelings, too, and that they learn to master them.

Chase away bad feelings.

Relaxation, breathing techniques, and visual imagery can help kids fight off depression and anxiety. Practice these in the evenings (they’ll also help your child unwind before bedtime). Once he’s mastered a calming technique, he can use it to stop a bad feeling in its tracks.
Relax: Have your child lie down and focus on and relax one body part at a time—hands, arms, chest—until his entire body is calm and anxious feelings have been crowded out.

Breathe: Teach your child to breathe in deeply, count from one to three, then breathe out. As breathing slows, the body becomes more relaxed. If your child focuses on each breath, he won’t be able to focus on the bad thoughts, moving them from the center of his attention.

Visualize: Ask your child to think about happy times or a good feeling. One boy I worked with would imagine himself “being licked by a whole bunch of puppies.” Another child pictured walking through a cool forest. If your child is fearful of a particular situation, such as a test, he should picture himself successfully completing the test.

Practice what you teach.

When children see their parents taking a deep breath or talking about feelings, they adopt such techniques more readily to fight off mood monsters. Help your child learn to calm himself, rather than feed his worry: “I know we can find a way to make this better for you. How should we solve this?” Chances are, your confidence will inspire him to find a solution.
Read more here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Parenting Defiant Teens

Source: ADDitude Magazine

ADHD behavior issues often partner with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) -- making discipline a challenge. Try these strategies for parents of ADD kids.

Every parent of a child with attention deficit disorder knows what it's like to deal with ADHD behavior problems -- sometimes a child lashes out or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But about half of all parents who have children with live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis.

Read Entire Article Here.