Sue Scheff - Troubled Teens and Parenting

Are you a parent dealing with a defiant, belligerent at risk teenager and you are at your wit’s end - It may be time to think about intervention. It is out of love that we seek to give our teens a second opportunity in life. If it is obvious they are escalating in a downward path, as a parent, it is our responsibility to find help. Whether it is seeking local therapy or support groups, or taking the major step of residential boarding schools - be a proactive parent.

If you are debating residential therapy for your teen, learn more about this extremely daunting and confusing industry.

Yes, you need to get help - but educate yourself first.

Learn more about Wit’s End at http://www.witsendbook.com/ and author Sue Scheff at http://www.suescheff.com/ -the response has been overwhelming!

If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit’s End and learn more!

For a quick read, check out http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ - the foundation of Wit’s End!

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Hate Websites

As someone that is familiar with hate websites/sites since I was a victim of them, they are nothing short of malicious attacks intended to hurt others. I always go back to my favorite Blog about these many types of people who seemingly take pride in harming others, The Top Ten Blogger Personas - The Mobosphere Unveiled by John Dozier. My next book, due out in fall 2009, will cover this subject in detail. Whether you are a business owner, husband, wife, teacher, professional - you need to be aware of your online presence - Internet Gossip vs Internet Fact - how do you know?

Connect with Kids offers some valuable tips for parents to help keep their kids safe in space. Unfortunately trying to keep up with the Internet can be difficult, however we need to communicate with our kids about ugliness that can lurk online.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Hate, unfortunately – it’s a virus. There’s been racism, anti-Semitism. There’s been discrimination against people throughout the ages. The Internet just provides an instant tool and access to it.”
– Deborah Lauter, Anti-Defamation League

By some estimates, 70 million kids are logging onto the Internet every day, and many are viewing sites that are increasingly disturbing.

Jesse Granger, 15, says, “I’ve come across hate websites. There was one about the Ku Klux Klan, and it had a lot of pictures of recent parades and marches.”

Sixteen-year-old Quincy Kelly saw a web site that “was talking about how slaves should be happy that they got brought over to America from Africa.”

Deborah Lauter of the Anti-Defamation League has been monitoring these sites for years. “Hate, unfortunately – it’s a virus,” she says. “There’s been racism, anti-Semitism. There’s been discrimination against people throughout the ages. The Internet just provides an instant tool and access to it.”

It’s also a sophisticated tool, especially in terms of attracting young web surfers.

Lauter says, “Some of the [hate] websites actually have games for children. The websites are attractive visually. There are puzzles, word games – it’s pretty sick when you look at them.”
And kids don’t even have to be looking for them to inadvertently access them.

“A perfect example would be a student doing Internet research and they plug in something as simple as ‘Martin Luther King,’ which is a very typical one. And some of these racist websites will be accessed and a kid could go on and start researching and think what’s there is fact,” says Lauter.

That’s where parents come in, she says, to make sure their kids are aware.

“[Children] need to understand to look at things critically,” says Lauter. “They need to understand that not everything on the Internet or everything they read is the truth.” And as kids become more sophisticated and Internet savvy, they will learn to weed out fiction from fact.
Matthew Burnett, 14, agrees. “If you use your common sense you can see through most of it,” he says.

And 15-year-olds Kelly Raines and Rebecca Turner say, “I think that if people are going to put that on, they’re going to put that on. And it’s just a matter of whether you take it, or like, just be like, ‘that’s stupid.’ I’m not going to worry about that.”

Tips for Parents

The Internet has opened the door to a wealth of information at our fingertips. But it has also brought instant accessibility to illegal drugs, pornography, hate websites and more. It’s important to set guidelines regarding your child’s Internet usage. Consider these important steps from the University of Oklahoma police department:

Learn about the Internet – If you are just starting out, see what information and classes are offered by your local library, community center, schools or newspaper.

Get Involved – Spend time online with your child — at home, at the library or at a computer center in your community. Your involvement in your child’s life includes his/her online life. Your participation and guidance is important to help ensure your child’s Internet safety.

Stay Informed – Learn about the latest parental control tools that can help you keep your child safe online. Stay abreast of what’s in the news about kids and web sites.

Become an Advocate for Kids – If you see online material or practices you do not like, contact your Internet Service Provider (the company that provides you with a connection to the Internet) or the company that created the material. Take advantage of this unique opportunity to help this growing medium develop in positive ways for kids.

According to SafeKids.com, there are steps you can take to help prevent your child from seeing inappropriate content on the Internet. Consider the following suggestions:

In an online public area such as a chat room or bulletin board, never give out identifying information, including name, home address, school name or telephone number.

In an email, do not give out identifying information unless you are certain you are giving it to someone both you and your child know and trust. Think carefully before revealing any personal information such as age, marital status or financial information. Consider using a pseudonym or unlisting your child’s name if your service allows it.

Get to know the sites and services your child uses. If you don’t know how to log on, have your child show you. Find out what types of information the services and websites offer, how trustworthy the information is and if parents can block objectionable material.

Never allow a child to arrange a face-to-face meeting with another computer user without parental permission.

Never respond to messages or bulletin board items that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, threatening or make you feel uncomfortable. Encourage your children to tell you if they encounter such messages. If you or your child receives a message that is harassing or threatening, forward a copy of the message to your service provider and ask for their assistance.
Remember that people online may not be who they seem. Because you can’t see or even hear people over the Internet, it is easy for them to misrepresent themselves. For example, someone who says he/she is an expert in a certain field may actually be a biased individual with an agenda or someone with harmful intentions.

Not everything you read online is true. Be wary of any offers that require you to come to a meeting or have someone visit your house. Also, research several different sources of information before referring to something you read on the Internet as “fact.”

Set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use. Discuss these rules and post them near the computer as a reminder. Remember to monitor your kids’ compliance with these rules, especially when it comes to the amount of time your children spend on the computer. A child’s or teenager’s excessive use of online services or bulletin boards, especially late at night, may indicate a potential problem. Remember that personal computers and online services should not be used as electronic babysitters.

Make computers a family activity. Consider keeping the computer in a family room rather than the child’s bedroom. Get to know your children’s “online friends” just as you do their other friends.

References
Federal Bureau of Investigation
National Center for Health Statistics
SafeKids.com
Smart Parent
The Police Notebook
The University of Illinois

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drinking

Are you concerned about your teen or tween drinking? Do you smell alcohol on their breathe? Maybe they experimented for the first time - maybe they will get really sick and promise never again. Or maybe they really enjoyed it!

Parents need to step up and educate their pre-teens and teens of the dangers of alcoholism, especially if there is a family member that suffers from this. Many believe this is a genetic disease, but I encourage all parents to whether this runs in the family or not, to be aware of this peer pressure. Much of this substance abuse can be started by peer pressure - a desire to fit in. To be cool. Well, be a cool parent and learn about this and talk to your kids about it before it becomes a problem.

Source: We Don’t Serve Teens

Teens Don’t Just Drink. They Drink to Excess.

More than 10 percent of eighth graders, 22 percent of sophomores, and 26 percent of seniors report recent binge drinking (5+ drinks on the same occasion).
Statistics show that the majority of current teen drinkers got drunk in the previous month. That includes 54 percent of the high school sophomores who drink and 65 percent of the high school seniors who drink.

Reducing underage drinking can reduce drinking-related harm.

Brain Development and Alcohol Abuse

Research indicates that the human brain continues to develop into a person’s early 20’s, and that exposure of the developing brain to alcohol may have long-lasting effects on intellectual capabilities and may increase the likelihood of alcohol addiction.

The age when drinking starts affects future drinking problems. For each year that the start of drinking is delayed, the risk of later alcohol dependence is reduced by 14 percent.

Drinking and Driving

Car crashes are the leading cause of death among people ages 15 to 20. About 1,900 people under 21 die every year from car crashes involving underage drinking.

Young people are more susceptible to alcohol-induced impairment of their driving skills. Drinking drivers aged 16 to 20 are twice as likely to be involved in a fatal crash as drinking drivers who are 21 or older.

Suicide

Alcohol use interacts with conditions like depression and stress, and contributes to an estimated 300 teen suicides a year.

High school students who drink are twice as likely to have seriously considered attempting suicide, as compared to nondrinkers. High school students who binge drink are four times as likely to have attempted suicide, as compared to nondrinkers.

Sexual Behavior

Current teen drinkers are more than twice as likely to have had sexual intercourse within the past three months than teens who don’t drink.

Higher drinking levels increase the likelihood of sexual activity.

Adolescents who drink are more likely to engage in risky sexual activities, like having sex with someone they don’t know or failing to use birth control.

Other Risks

Teens who drink alcohol are more likely than nondrinkers to smoke marijuana, use inhalants, or carry a weapon.

Binge drinking substantially increases the likelihood of these activities.

Academic Performance

A government study published in 2007 shows a relationship between binge drinking and grades. Approximately two-thirds of students with “mostly A’s” are non-drinkers, while nearly half of the students with “mostly D’s and F’s” report binge drinking. It is not clear, however, whether academic failure leads to drinking, or vice versa.

For further information on the risks of adolescent alcohol use, visit the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Don’t serve alcohol to teens.

It’s unsafe. It’s illegal. It’s irresponsible.